My Counseling Theory Paper Essay Example for Free

My Counseling Theory Paper Essay Running head: Finding Meaning Finding Meaning in Life Sandy Patty Made Up University Abstract What is to be said about life and circumstances? There are many different theories and perspectives about it, but my concern is when someone feels they have to be subject to their circumstance. Further in this paper I will discuss my personal counseling theory and how I believe that not one person has to be ruled by a certain circumstance and that they are not by any means validated by one person because they have the opportunity to discover meaning in their life for themselves and discover an array of opportunities in life. Finding Meaning in Life Introduction My story is not something new or one that has never been told before, but it is unique to me and bears significant value due to the way that it shaped and formed me into the person I am today and the reason for me pursuing a career in counseling. I come from a mixed, biracial, and very religious family. The women in my family all seem to have gone through significant and grave hardships and/or traumatic experiences. My grandmother was sold as a sex slave when she was 3 years old because her Mother was dirt poor and needed money to sustain her drug/alcohol addiction. At an early age my grandmother was forced into prostitution as a way of life and a means to sustain herself. She then later met my grandfather who was a minister in a local religious church and they married. My mother was born into a very religious environment, strict dress codes, no jewelry, makeup, pants, they were forcefully instructed that they were the lesser of men, and they were to always obey their husband regardless of the issue or circumstance. During my Mother’s adolescent years she was a victim of child molest and the perpetrator was an important figure in the church. When my Mother attempted to tell my grandmother what had happened, she was severely physically punished and accused of lying. Since then, she never once told a soul as it continued to occur. She had become a pin-cushion for a â€Å"religious leader† within the church. Later on in life, my Mother met my father who was a young youth pastor in town and they married. My father was also a very religious man and held strongly to his beliefs. My parents struggled financially and experienced many hardships due to church and family. I believe my parents were somewhat forced in marriage at such an early age due to their religious setting and they were not prepared at all for what faced them ahead. My mother had children by age 19 and her life changed dramatically. My one and only older sibling was born and he became the closest thing to a mentor that I had. I too, grew up in a very religious and strict home environment. We were taught that there was only one way to live and it was according to the Bible and the rules taught in Church, anything else was unacceptable and reprimanded. My father was always a very hard worker and was hardly home due to working so many jobs in order to provide for the family. When he was home, I remember him and my mother arguing constantly due to issues with his family interfering with their marriage and finances. From an early age, I remember my mother crying and coming to me to talk about what was bothering her or issues with my father. I would just listen and offer advice as best as an 8 yr. old could and I remember thinking to myself, â€Å"Is this normal, am I supposed to be doing this? It felt strange and hard to not be biased in a situation involving my family, but I learned at a very young age things a child should not know or experience. I definitely had to grow up quick and learned to figure things out on my own. My older brother pretty much raised me and was the only person I could confide in or talk to. My family was not very affectionate, but rather very cold and distant and always brought everything back to a religio us setting. I have always been told I was very mature for my age and I attribute this to my childhood or lack thereof and being forced to play an adult role due to circumstance. I do not write this story for pity, but rather because I believe it played a significant role in me pursuing counseling as a career path. It feels so natural for me when I’m talking to people because it was something I can always remember doing. From such an early age, I have always been engaged with older people and hearing about issues from failed relationships to traumatic/crisis situations. I strongly believe that this is one of the reasons I am not a very judgmental person because I feel I have experienced so much that I know what it is like to go through many different situations and not so pleasant circumstances. Core Theoretical Principles My counseling theory is that even though human beings have the need for approval or longing of someone else to bring substantial meaning in their life, they are not by any means validated by any one person or situation because you focus on the present and future and make the most of your circumstance. I experienced that in my childhood every time I saw my mother and father arguing and later I would hear from her what exactly happened between them. I remember thinking to myself that why would someone stay in an abusive situation or at least not stand up for themselves. I concluded that she needed to be validated by the relationship and for her to leave the relationship or stand up for herself would mean to defy her husband, church, and God. The Existential theory really brought insight into my life because it helped me understand what I always knew and from what I had experienced at an early age. In essence Existentialism states that we are not victims of circumstance because, to a large extent, we are what we choose to be (Corey, 2009, pg. 133). It is about recognizing certain tragedies experienced in life, but also embracing and understanding the positive opportunities that lie ahead, and to also comprehend the fact that we are human and what it means to be just that. It is a difficult concept to grasp at first because society teaches us that it is about building relationships and finding someone to validate who you are as a person, but existentialism is about understanding and facing the fact that we are essentially alone and facing that anxiety. It is in this theory that we tend to discover just who we are as a person and are able to discover more about ourselves and make sense of our existence. According to Carl Rogers, his experience taught him that if one is able to get to the core of an individual, one finds a trustworthy, positive center. He believed that people are trustworthy, resourceful, capable of self-understanding and self-direction, able to make constructive changes, and able to live effective and productive lives. In this theory, I believe that despite circumstance, a person is able to â€Å"bounce back† and still be able to live a healthy and high functioning life. I would incorporate what Car Rogers expressed as the three main attributes needed to foster change, Congruence, Unconditional Positive Regard, and Accurate Empathic Understanding. For me, it has always been very important for me to deal with someone on a personal level, never forgetting that we are all humans and not above anyone else. I honestly believe that when you treat someone with respect regardless of age, gender, race, etc. then trust and respect is created and that is the number one element in any counseling relationship. Gestalt is another form of holistic psychology theory and one that I would strongly employ because I am a firm believer in perception and the meaning-making process. Gestalt therapy suggests that the objective is to enable the client to become more fully and creatively alive and to become free from the blocks and unfinished business that may diminish satisfaction, fulfillment, and growth, and to experiment with new ways of being (Corey, 2009, pg. 204). It looks at the bigger picture as a whole not just one part of the whole because I believe in order to truly understand someone you need to perhaps dissect pieces, but only in order to understand the whole. Anticipated Settings I currently am employed at a Child Family Advocacy Center that helps victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and elder abuse. I have always been interested in the helping profession and because of my childhood and the many different experiences and circumstances I encountered, I have always known I wanted to work in this specific area in order to attempt to make a change and help people who fall victims of such a terrible circumstance. As a future counselor I would like to remain relatively in the same field of helping victims of a crime, which include sexual assault, child molest, and domestic violence. I have seen and experienced all of this personally whether with family or friends and I have a passion and urge to help make a difference. I believe that life is definitely not fair, people are played the cards they are dealt, but also that a person is not validated by their past circumstances or anyone and it is up to them to find meaning in their life and discover who they are and want to become. Techniques I believe that it is necessary to provide adequate education and training to all the community because there are many people who unaware of the laws that can protect them from crimes and they are also unaware of the many various options they have to change their situation. I would employ an ongoing community education program offering free training to local offices, schools, day cares, etc. , just to spread the word of the different community resources available to help the people. In working closely with and advocacy center, I would incorporate a domestic violence group that is not biased and one that actually helpful to people and does not enable them. Unfortunately, services in this area are limited to the same service providers and people are left with limited options. Too many times, clients have approached me with disappointment in therapist they have encountered and they are turned off by the idea of counseling because of several negative experiences. I am very passionate about this type of work specifically because of my past and I would like to genuinely be able to help people in these types of situations and therefore, would in the future, like to offer counseling services specifically to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and/or child abuse. I would not be biased, and because of my past I understand what it is like to live in that type of situation and I also understand leaving is not always the easiest decision a person can make because there are many factors to consider. People in these types of situations are very unique in the fact that they have learned to survive on their own and know what they need to do or to say the right thing in order to survive. This is not a situation where one counseling theory covers all clients, so I would tailor each to the specific person because I understand their situation is unique and requires a technique to match. Also, I believe that it is vital to establish a healthy relationship with the client in order for them to trust you and open up to you. I would incorporate many of the Rogerian techniques regarding the genuine relationship with the client, trusting environment. Victims of any of these types of crime have been through some of the most horrendous situations and they have learned to adapt to the perpetrators needs and threats. If a counselor walks into a session with an â€Å"all knowing† authoritative attitude it will discourage the victim from speaking the truth and the counselor will have lost, which may have been the only opportunity, to help the victim possible change their circumstance. I would enter into the counselor/client relationship giving respect and trust on my part and genuinely attempting to get to know the client and their unique situation. I would also involve the client every step of the way because it is this same client that returns to their situation at home and not me so I would always need to have their best interest and safety in mind. The clients would not just be another file on my desk, but rather a person who’s life can be altered by perhaps just one meeting in counseling so what better change to reach out and try and help someone. It is with this that I would definitely incorporate many of the existential techniques in helping clients find meaning in their life by exploring their different life situations. Limitations A very common limitation that I experience already in the line of work I do now is the fact that even though I am passionate about this field, the actuality of it is that I cannot change a person, they have to decide for themselves when that change is appropriate. Many times I have seen counselors burnout in this field because they feel they are not making any significant change due to many victims returning to the same abusive relationship or circumstance. So in theory, all of these techniques and theories are wonderful, but in reality they are dependent on the client. Summary Life is simple, it’s just not easy. People have to play the cards they are dealt. Life is not fair by any means and we could use this as an excuse to wallow in pity or use it to motivate us to overcome and conquer our situation. We are not validated by any one circumstance or person, we can choose to discover for ourselves who we are and who we wish to become. My personal counseling theory is just that, very personal because it was unknowingly developed over time due mostly through what I have experienced in life.

Essay --

Virginia Satir was a key participant in the development of family systems theory. She was the developer of Conjoint family therapy, the Change Process model and the Communication model of family therapy. One of her core beliefs was that growth, change and understanding can be achieved to help people reach their full potential. She believed that she could help families to improve their relationships and communication exchanges (Caflisch, n.d.). All families have a certain way that they function with each other and have a set way of how they solve problems together. However, some families may find themselves unable to successfully overcome any problems that may occur as well as have difficulties in properly communicating with each other. This occurrence can cause dysfunction and unhappiness within the family unit. According to Hartline (2007), Satir found that each person can improve their lives and relationships with others by changing the way they see and express themselves. She believed that a family puts the blame on one family member for its pain and problems but blame can usually be put upon all members of the family (Hartline, 2007). According to Satir, families will come to see that change in how their household interacts can occur and with that change self-esteem will increase, all family members will become more responsible and all family members will be able to synchronize (Banmen, J. & Banmen K.M., n.d.). To help make this change happen, the family must be able to dwell in a loving atmosphere, they need to have a sense of trust with each other, they must believe that change can happen, and they must be able to meet each other halfway throughout the process of change (Hartline, 2007). To help families to m... ...e subject that's being discussed. Super reasonable communication is unemotional and there is a strong need for controlling of themselves and others. This is also known as the ‘know it all and make others feel incompetent’ style of communication. The fifth communication pattern is congruent communication. A person who communicates congruently shares their thoughts and emotions about themselves without projecting them onto others and avoids manipulation (Caflisch, n.d.). What is important here is that congruent communication allows for the development of self worth and this is the ultimate goal of the growth model. Virginia Satir’s theory and models have provided families and individuals with helpful and invaluable knowledge on how we can successfully make changes and taught us how we can benefit from change and gives us insight on how we can improve our lives. Essay -- Virginia Satir was a key participant in the development of family systems theory. She was the developer of Conjoint family therapy, the Change Process model and the Communication model of family therapy. One of her core beliefs was that growth, change and understanding can be achieved to help people reach their full potential. She believed that she could help families to improve their relationships and communication exchanges (Caflisch, n.d.). All families have a certain way that they function with each other and have a set way of how they solve problems together. However, some families may find themselves unable to successfully overcome any problems that may occur as well as have difficulties in properly communicating with each other. This occurrence can cause dysfunction and unhappiness within the family unit. According to Hartline (2007), Satir found that each person can improve their lives and relationships with others by changing the way they see and express themselves. She believed that a family puts the blame on one family member for its pain and problems but blame can usually be put upon all members of the family (Hartline, 2007). According to Satir, families will come to see that change in how their household interacts can occur and with that change self-esteem will increase, all family members will become more responsible and all family members will be able to synchronize (Banmen, J. & Banmen K.M., n.d.). To help make this change happen, the family must be able to dwell in a loving atmosphere, they need to have a sense of trust with each other, they must believe that change can happen, and they must be able to meet each other halfway throughout the process of change (Hartline, 2007). To help families to m... ...e subject that's being discussed. Super reasonable communication is unemotional and there is a strong need for controlling of themselves and others. This is also known as the ‘know it all and make others feel incompetent’ style of communication. The fifth communication pattern is congruent communication. A person who communicates congruently shares their thoughts and emotions about themselves without projecting them onto others and avoids manipulation (Caflisch, n.d.). What is important here is that congruent communication allows for the development of self worth and this is the ultimate goal of the growth model. Virginia Satir’s theory and models have provided families and individuals with helpful and invaluable knowledge on how we can successfully make changes and taught us how we can benefit from change and gives us insight on how we can improve our lives.

Comparison of Wedding of India and China

The approach of these paper work is to know and compare the two country’s tradition when it comes to wedding. Talking about wedding, we all know that it is the important aspect when two people want to enter the life of having a family. According to Webster, wedding is the ceremony of marriage with its accompanying festive. And as I go on with these paper work, we will all know the different traditions in wedding of the two countries and its histories. To formally start this topic, we must first know the two country’s wedding history. In India, history of Indian Wedding says that early societies for social as well as political reasons had to have secure means for the perpetuation of the species and an institution to handle the granting of property rights and marriage was the institution for fulfilling that need. History of Indian Wedding says that early societies for social as well as political reasons had to have secure means for the perpetuation of the species and an institution to handle the granting of property rights and marriage was the institution for fulfilling that need. In Indian culture arranged marriages have a history since fourth century. The culture of arranged marriages has still survived modernization and industrialization in India. Ancient times, the marriages took place while the couple was very young. In fact, the boy`s parents searched for a matching alliance for him in his preadolescent age and then approached the girl`s family with the proposition. There used to be a middleman to look for alliance and propose it to each family about the match. He even acted as a negotiator, also would suggest a suitable date and hour for the marriage to take place after matching the bride and the groom`s birth charts, he further also would facilitate in decision of the venue suitable for each families. In Indian Weddings the bride`s family was the host for the function. In China the process began with an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance. This process was placed in the hands of a go-between, who acted as a buffer between the two parties – a role similar to that of a real estate agent today. The important parties in proposal and betrothal negotiations were the parents of the prospective bride and groom, rather than the bride and groom themselves. â€Å"Marriage was for continuing the ancestral line and creating alliances between families –; too important a duty to be left in the rash hands of the young,† Costa explains. † When the boy’s parents identified a likely bride-to-be, they would send the go-between to present gifts to the girl’s parents and to sound out their feelings about the match. If the proposal was well-received, the go-between would obtain the date and hour of the girl’s birth recorded on a formal document. The groom’s family would place this document on the ancestral altar for three days. If no inauspicious omens, e. g. quarrels between the parents or a loss of property, took place within that time, the parents would give the information to a astrological expert to confirm that the young woman and their son would make a good match. If the boy’s family found the horoscope to be favourable, they gave the boy’s birth date and hour to the go-between to bring to the girl’s family, who would go through the same process. Only after both outcomes were favourable, would the two families arrange to meet. Finally face-to-face, each family evaluated the other in terms of appearance, education, character, and social position. If both were satisfied they would proceed to the betrothal. Since these is a paper work having a comparison of the two countries wedding tradition it must have the dresses they wear, the accessories the have, the meaning if averything they do and the astrological meanings which I’ve learned that are all important to the people of the two countries. Let’s start with their clothing or dresses they wear. In Chinese Red is central to the wedding theme of China. It signifies love, joy and prosperity and is used in a variety of ways in Chinese wedding traditions. The bride's wedding gown is often red, as are the wedding invitations, and wedding gift boxes or envelopes for cash gifts. Even the bride and groom's homes are decorated in red on the wedding day while in India, Indian brides wear pink and red saris on their wedding day, adorning themselves extravagantly with as much jewelry as possible. In these two countries it is important to know their astrology, if they are compatible to each other. Because they believe that having the compatible horoscope means they will be having abundant life ahead. According to the encyclopaedia titled Americana, the Hindu marriage rite opens with prayers by a Hindu priest. The priest pins one end of concentrated linen to the bride and groom’s clothing while the other side is on the bricks as a symbol of unity. The couple then walk around the sacred area. After the seventh time, the sealing of contract is done. The Ceremony may last as long as two hours. At the end a whole coconut is broken as the priest blesses the couple. hile in China, few religious ceremonies are today in either Communist or Nationalist China. Marriages often take place in public hall. The rite is simply an announcement with a couple’s marriage by their presence before at least two witnesses. The marriage is then recorded with the state authorities. In Indian culture arranged marriages have a history since fourth century. The culture of arranged marriages h as still survived modernization and industrialization in India. Ancient times, the marriages took place while the couple was very young. In fact, the boy`s parents searched for a matching alliance for him in his preadolescent age and then approached the girl`s family with the proposition. There used to be a middleman to look for alliance and propose it to each family about the match. He even acted as a negotiator, also would suggest a suitable date and hour for the marriage to take place after matching the bride and the groom`s birth charts, he further also would facilitate in decision of the venue suitable for each families. In Indian Weddings the bride`s family was the host for the function. While in Chinese systemization of apparently pre-existing elements of traditional Chinese wedding ceremony is generally credited to scholars of the Warring States period , 402-221 B. C. Three venerable texts, The Book of Rites, The Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial, and the Baihu Tong outline the Three Covenants and the Six Rites, that were considered necessary elements of a marriage. However, the full ritual was so complicated that even within the span of the Warring States period, the etiquette underwent changes and simplification. What remained constant were the chief objectives: joining and enhancing the two families and ensuring succession with numerous descendants. Reverence to parents and ancestors, omens to encourage fertility and wealth, financial and social obligations contracted by both families at the betrothal, extensive gift giving etiquette, and the bride’s incorporation into her husband’s family are recurring elements. Since these are the most essential thing in their wedding traditions, it is still being practiced by them. I have learned that they have some comparison though Indians are Hindus and Chinese are Buddhists, for example with their astrological means. But I can say that the Indians has more preparations than Chinese and also, China’s marriage are more simple than with the Indian people. The Chinese practices the monogamy marriage while the Indian practices the polygamy. But what’s important with the two countries is to have their wedding done and to have it in blessed way by the priest and under their GODs according to their religion. Reference http://www.indianetzone.com/2/history_indian_wedding.htm

The Financial Crisis Of The Great Depression - 1571 Words

In the words from Ben Bernanke, â€Å"September and October of 2008 was the worst financial crisis in global history, including the Great Depression† (Yahoo Finance 2014). The effects from the banking, or credit, crisis were felt worldwide. Starting back when the investment banks went public and lobbying for deregulation, resulting in risky investments with creative ways to hide these investments can be directly correlated with the causes of the crisis. The effects, consequently, are catastrophic and are still lingering on six years later. What was one of the first causes for this meltdown? Even six years after the fact, people are still unsure. I believe that it started when the investment banks went public. When a company goes†¦show more content†¦The Gram-Leech-Bliley Act allowed this merger to be legal. This act, which revoked the Glass Steagall Act, was the largest achievement for the lobbyists for Wall Street (Repealing Glass-Steagall section, para. 7). This allowed the banks to keep growing and growing so that they were becoming too big to fail. Allowing this merger made it clear to firms that with enough time and money, anything can happen. In the movie Inside Job Willem Buiter states that â€Å"why do you have big banks? Well, because banks like monopoly power; because banks like lobbying power; because, banks know that when they’re too big, they will be bailed† (2010). When a single entity has this much power, they will be riskier in their investments which leads to higher short run earnings but destroys the firm in the long run. And with that assurance of being bailed out, they will not care how risky the investments are, just as long as they get their large bonuses. Christine Lagarde brought up this point during Inside Job in saying that â€Å"the financial industry is a service industry. It should serve others before it serves itself† (2010). She is insisting that ethics should be one of the fir st things under consideration. I believe that the paying customers should always be the top priority. Firms usually want to sell their loyal customers a great product, but in this case the firms sold their customers crap investments